Something weird...

A Man With Three Heads...



Not really that but this, while going on a subject which I do talk a lot about (that being music) but it is something that people whom know me well will be extremely confused about. What I am going to do is step out of my traditional music tastes (usually Rock/Metal) and have a look at a few songs from the grimey, disgusting and all around appaling world of general pop music. The sort of thing you are likely to find in a lot of the typical club nights you are likely to go to in the next few weeks.

Now you may all think that I am going totally mad (that said I am a bit jacked up on caffine today but that is not really the point...) but there have been some genuinely interesting new songs from what I like to call the side of the fence everyone else seems to be on. I'm gonna take this span as far back as about 6 months from me first hearing the songs and the fact that they are still being smashed around the radio like confetti at a wedding or alcohol in a student accomidation pre-drinking bender.

Firstly is one that I actually only listened to because of something I saw written about it in a Newspaper:



Yes your eyes and ears are not decieving you. It's the latest single by Britney Spears by the name of 'Hold It Against Me' and while it may not be as cringe-worthingly obvious as her last single '3' or the dancefloor classic 'Slave 4 U' but (seemingly like 95% of her songs) they are about finding a guy in a club and wanting to get some of his (here comes a Lady Gaga reference...sorry) 'Disco-Stick' away from the rest of the sweaty club attendee's.

At first you might think it's just typical garbage with a Nazi style marching beat for the vast majority of the song and Britney sounding as Monotonal and auto-tuned as ever and I agree. But I have selected this for this most odd of blogs for one main simple reason. Aside from the fact that it mostly uses the same dynamic reversal as Metallica's famous single 'Unforgiven' generally with the verse being louder than the chorus until the end one but also for the section I suggest skipping through to which appears at about 2:17.

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Hopefully some of you have listened to it but that is (from what I know of Dubstep) a really well excuted and quite intense dubstep drop. I find it as (quite frankly) the most interesting piece of music to be found in a song concering Ms Spears. It's quite a big drop and from what I would imagine it would produce one of the most bizarre moments in any clubber's psyche (if they are still sober enough to think that clearly):

'Ok this is a beat I imagine being made from a proper Dubstep person not Britney Spears' record label... WTF!!'


This next song may have been around for a bit longer than I might think but I don't know. It's from a little British artist who does not have the loudest voice and could be seen as annoying and has released one or two of the worst songs ever in 'Stary Eyed' and 'Guns & Horses'.



Yes it's Ellie Goulding with 'The Writer'. First thing to say is that as a song it was my favourite pop song of 2010 along with her not quite so well known track 'Under The Sheets' ,which with a few minor tweeks (I know cause i've tried) makes a cracking Hard Rock love song, but does not qualify for this list as I heard it back in last May.

So why do I add 'The Writer' to this rag tag list of slightly more interesting chart hits? Well firstly the verse and middle section has a rather interesting time signature which (while trying to learn the song) has caught me out in several times to the tune of exclimations of profanities like 'F***' 'S***' and my new rather outrageous favourite 'F**knuckle'. It's a rather beautiful song really as it features a really great melody throughout vocally, a really effective piano part and a chorus which manages to be on the one hand to be calm and emotional but on the other hand (with the right setting and the volume turned up all the way) absolutely bloody enormous. Put that chorus in a big stadium and I have no doubt it would produce a huge moment the first time it comes around.

The next song comes from another realitively new song with not much in terms of a massive voice but has a habbit of some interesting little numbers like this following dubstep inspired ditty:



Yes it's the true club anthem which you are basically garunteed to hear almost every club night you go into. It's Katy B with her signature song 'Katy On A Mission'. Well first off it's different because it uses a style that was (at the time) still relatively underground and therefore was like a breakthrough. It is a song structured much like any other so I can not offer you any difference on that front but the lyrics are in fact the most interesting element to this song. Because it's not about what a lot (96.7%-ish) of pop songs are about, sex, love and variants thereof, but about something which connects to the same amount of, if not more people who are going to listen to the song. Going on a dancefloor and when the right song comes on going absolutely ballistic not caring how you look and just having a damn-good time whether you end up lip locked with a fellow dancer or just sweaty but with a feeling of utter euphoria. The lyric has become a mantra of mine when I go clubbing with the right combination of people 'Keep up with me as we lose control'.

Following on from these I'd like to be able to put a pop song by a male artist to rebalence the list back bring back some semblence of gender equality... but Male pop singers have slowly become the most samey-samey sounding bulls*** these days but now with my most interesting choices taken up I've litterally had to go on a bit of a research through the recent chart hits. To be as frank as I can about all this it has made want boil my own head as quite a large amount modern pop is truly, saddeningly, almost hopelessly appaling. With Simon Cowell's X-Factor machine and the increase of auto-tuning into alot of music and just the stereotypical lyrical content often makes me despair at how some people can be so blind and listen to these songs and take them as the best the world of music has to offer.

But before you think I am going to say that modern music is not as good as it was in previous decades I have one unfortunate thing to say to you:

The Previous 4 decades were no better




I say this because yes there are classic tracks from those decades which everyone will remember: Beatles, Stones, Led Zepplin, Thin Lizzy, Guns 'N' Roses, early Madonna, Abba, 2-Pac, Pre-drug abuse Eminem and many, many more that I can mention. These are the artists that will be looked back on as the memorable artists of those respective creative periods with hits that will live in memory until the end of time.

But a lot of these songs were beaten to the top spot by some utterly appaling pieces of s*** which people will choose to forget was the week long fads people liked at the time. Take this list of songs for example and my point will be proved:

Gnarls Barckley - Crazy
Crazy Town - Butterfly
Journey - Don't Stop Belevin'
(Who the F*** cares) - Agado ¬_¬
Cliff Richard - Misiltoe and Wine
The stupid fast food song
All of the UK's Eurovision entries for as long as I can remember
Lulu - Shout
Mungo Jerry - Baby Jump
And everything wirtten by Donny Osmand.

My point is proved and this would be an excellent way to end this entry.

However, my research did pay off and what I have coming up is as interesting as the songs I have already mentioned and actually, in my view, somewhat of a special song to me:



I will conceed that this song does not apply to either of the rules set I set to put songs in the blog and yes it is not even a very recent song. But Viva Forever by one of the most legendary Girl Groups that there has ever been in The Spice Girls is a song which a chilled out number with 2 or 3 absolutely sensational acoustic guitar solos. It was one of the last songs the band recorded with Geri Haliwell and was in fact released after she left the band so there is in fact a hidden story behind the song and even though I do not know the story knowing this song had a difficult inception makes it very special to me. It may be utterly ridiculous but this is one of my favourite of all time. It might be embrassing given my normal taste in music but it is.

Now we can end.

Next up after the pre-season testing ends I make my thoughts and predictions for the 2011 F1 world championship.

And here comes another year.

Ladies and Gentlemen. Drinking partners one and all I would like to wish you all a happy 2011.



Yes indeed and in case anyone has been asleep since Saturday a new year is indeed upon us. One filled with many things that I am going to go on to speak about:

• The 2011 F1 world championship


• The England Cricket team bringing home the famous urn after their retention of the Ashes.


• The endless road of the pro-wrestling business


• A continuation of my studies at University in Colchester.


• And many more things...

Now all this and more will be discussed in the up and coming 12 months but I would like to take some time out of your very important Internet time to post something that is more than likely going to turn into among one of the most personal things I have ever written. For those who do not know me all that well this might get a bit heavy and even though I will never know I do not blame you if you stop reading at any point in this post. If you do know me then perhaps this will be a little bit of an eye opener if you think I have been a bit weirder than usual in recent times.

First I have to start with a brief summary of what has made 2010 in many ways good for me:

• My first 2 festivals as an attendee in the form of 2000 trees and Sonisphere were experiences which I shall not forget anytime soon.


• Finally getting a band together in the land of Essex to stop me going completely mad.


• My 20th Birthday drinks may not have been the highlight of every body's social calender but from my perspective it was the drunken yet perfectly civilised way I wanted to celebrate it and catch up with many of the friends I have made at University.


• Finally getting a small glimpse into the whole clubbing thing and understanding that it has to be the right night for me to have a good time.

All of those things were great and I would like to thank everyone who was a part of these experiences and I honestly hope to have more with all of you in the future.

However I am going to be completely honest and say that, for me, 2010 was one of the most difficult and most painful years that I can remember. There are many reasons for this, some of which I can not even share here as it is so painful but others I will share with you as frankly as possible:

This year I am ashamed to say I have definitely fallen for someone who I assume does not feel the same way about me and even if she did she is many years out of my league and is with someone who is making them happier than I feel I could.

I met her at the back end of last year when visiting friends and she understood my flaws and my fears within 15 minutes of meeting me and we became extremely close whenever we got the chance to talk. She has been there for me through some really difficult shit and has become a rock so solid it would take millions of years to wear that away.

We spent a weekend together in the summer, just hanging out, drinking and talking about everything and nothing at the same time. We bonded strongly and for my sins my heart became hers. She probably won't know it's her and if she does I've put my foot in it but she is beautiful, kind, funny and one of the people I trust with my life. I can deal with the fact we'll never be together as long as we remain closer than Amy Winehouse to a drug overdose.

To move on from that to something that a few of you may know happened. I was almost shot from a moving car in Colchester in the Autumn, after a man shot at my direction from a moving car with a hand gun narrowly missing the outline of my hair.

I was ok but I was so scared I considered not coming back to Colchester after a week a home. My life flashed before my eyes as I looked for someone to help me get home and while this is not the most afraid I have ever been my hands were shaking for three days afterwards. To this day every so often I cry when thinking about it but one day I will be able to fully get over it and fully move on.

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to admit but here it goes: Not too long ago I went through a period of feeling helpless and afraid for the future. I was scared I was going to fall into a possible state of depression and at points even thought I had.

I was staring at a small kitchen knife I had in my right hand wondering if I was about to do the unthinkable, the one thing that I swore I'd make sure no-one I knew would do if I could help it. Luckily for me I was not brave enough to do it and the thought has not occurred to me since.

I did it because of many reasons:

• I was worried that a lot of the people that cared about me didn't care and I was almost entirely alone at a point in my life where I need them.
• After the incident with the shooting I was scared about what else could happen to me and was basically scared in my own skin.
• Things were going on behind closed doors which were leaving my family in an unbelievably strained position and there was nothing I could do to help or stop it.
• I simply believed I was not good enough.

If I have still got anyone reading this...yeah...

But then a funny thing happened. Something that has never happened to me before and took me completely unawares. The strangest thing about it was that it occurred to me around the strike of midnight while drunk and sipping on a pint of 'expensive' cider:

I can erase the bad points of 2010 by making 2011 the most amazing year of my life.

• I can make sure I push on with my musical exploits in a way I never have before.
• I can make even more truly brilliant friends as well maintain the ones I deserve to have.
• I have a chance of finding someone or something that can make me as happy as I have ever been.
• But last and for sure most important of all I can stop giving a damn about what people actually think of me because if they don't like me and bitch about me behind my back or just plain ignore me I can simply think to myself 'Forget you, I am who I am and I'm not gonna change for you.'

So to my friends, my family, the friends i've yet to meet and perhaps especially to the people and events that tried to stop me in 2010 I have one last thing to say:

My New Years Resolution is to never be brought down again.

Have a good'un all of you